If I am going to approach my recovery from a spiritual and emotional stand-point, it helps me to look at things in the following way:
The majority of my illness, my poor mental health, and my addictions were my body having a bad reaction to situations that it shouldn’t have been in.
OK, let me explain that.
You know when you eat something you’re not supposed to and your body breaks out in illness?
That was my addiction.
I’m not “randomly” an alcoholic – I didn’t “cross a line” and take things too far – the whole entire history my drinking career – short though it may have been- was plagued with terror, despair, chaos, the raging beast of calamity that I would become after a drink – that was my alergic reaction.
What if all my other problems are reactions to certain things?
What if, after all – I am BUILT WITH PURPOSE.
I was put here on earth to do something good and worthwhile, every time I suffered a bout of depression, a “rage,” or dealt with addiction – that was my spirit communicating with me through my body, saying:
“Nope, this is the wrong path for you. You’re not supposed to be in this situation/relationship/job, whatever it may be.”
And here’s the thing, I can say this even whilst knowing that sometimes I have felt depressed for what seems on the surface to be “no reason.”
I’ve done the “I have everything I want in my life, I have a great job, I have a wonderful home, everything is going to be OK – and I want to kill myself.” thing.
I’ve argued with other people who believe that being depressed is being “unhappy about something” and that I should “stop whining and just get on with it.” I’ve argued that my depression doesn’t have to be triggered by anything, but maybe it does, maybe its triggered by something deep within me that I’m not even aware of.
Could it be that when I’ve had depressive episodes even when everything is fundamentally good that this is again my spirit communicating to me via my body saying:
“Yeah, this all looks nice, but you’re meant for something else.”
Could those depressive bouts be an adverse reaction – like the drink to my body- of something that I’m not even aware of?
The more I think about this, the more it makes sense, because usually, after I come out the period of depression, I end up in a fully productive mode, where I not only achieve more on a general, day-to-day, ticking-stuff-off-a-list basis, but actually end up making some significant changes, changes which ultimately helped guide me to something better.
It’s a starting point this.
I’m not saying this is 100% how it is, but this is something that makes sense to me, and as I go forward with my journey towards peace, this is what I’m using as my foundation.
My periods of depression are warning signs – adverse reactions to me being in the wrong place or on the wrong path – my spirit communicating with me through my body to say:
“Hey, Chris! Something’s not right here, we need to figure out a plan to get out of this!”
This is why it’s all the more important for me to get rid of stuff, to minimalise, at least to an extent, to cut down projects and get rid of physical possessions.
I find that I have so much “STUFF” in my life, and all this “STUFF” just piles on top of who I really am. It obstructs my path, and makes it harder for me to see what my purpose is.
The less STUFF I have – the easier it will be for me to see where I’m going, and to be happy and peaceful.
I’m not saying that minimalism is the answer to depression, or that having a good tidy up will cure my addictions, but the less I have cluttering the road ahead, the less likely I am to take the wrong path, and the less likely it is that my spirit is going to throw up warning signs in the form of depression or the temptation to relapse.
This is something I need to think about.
More than that, it’s something I need to take action on.